For as long as I can remember, my family has been at war -- at war with fascists, at war with communists, at war with liberals, at war with ultra-conservatives, at war with each other. And, yes, there are truly things in our lives that God would have us fight against, but war within families ... (?)
The family war is a tag-team war. Its rules were well established before I was born, and has been passed down from father to son, mother to daughter, on and on. Each generation longs to break the cycle, but they do it by criticizing those that have gone before. And what they don't realize is that by doing that, they break down any foundation on which to build their lives.
No one wants to repeat the bad or hurtful, but you cannot implement good if you tear down what is good. And when you tear down people, you tear down the good, perhaps more than you tear down the bad.
I remember criticizing my parents for their mistakes, for not loving each other, for divorcing, for criticizing their parents, etc. Funny how when I focused on their shortcomings that those mistakes began to take root in me. It wasn't until I began to honor my parents and build on their successes, or at least acknowledge them, that my life had energy to be transformed.
And this is the heritage I wish to leave to my children and theirs.
The family war is a tag-team war. Its rules were well established before I was born, and has been passed down from father to son, mother to daughter, on and on. Each generation longs to break the cycle, but they do it by criticizing those that have gone before. And what they don't realize is that by doing that, they break down any foundation on which to build their lives.
No one wants to repeat the bad or hurtful, but you cannot implement good if you tear down what is good. And when you tear down people, you tear down the good, perhaps more than you tear down the bad.
I remember criticizing my parents for their mistakes, for not loving each other, for divorcing, for criticizing their parents, etc. Funny how when I focused on their shortcomings that those mistakes began to take root in me. It wasn't until I began to honor my parents and build on their successes, or at least acknowledge them, that my life had energy to be transformed.
And this is the heritage I wish to leave to my children and theirs.
posted by Serena Voss at 6:32 AM
2 Comments:
I think that respecting where you have come from and where you are wanting to go are the beginning steps to changing the unwanted and moving in a more positive direction. I really don't think that we are destined to repeate the cycle if we have knowledgable insight as to how it reapeats and where we can break off to form a new part. Love, education, insight, forgiveness and depending on God... those help too! :)
Mae,
Well said.
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